Why her?

Everyone has someone in their life that they would do anything for. Some have more than one, and some just have one. I have more than one person that I would do anything for. That includes my 12 year old cousin. She has gone through a lot in her life and sometimes I find myself asking the question "why her?" Some of the questions I ask have been answered.

Why was she the one that was born with down syndrome? Because if she never was, our family wouldn't be aware of how amazing and wonderful she really is. I probably wouldn't have such a big heart for kids with disabilities. Hayden with down syndrome has taught me that she isn't just special. She's amazing. She makes me laugh whenever I am down and I can't help but hurt when she hurts too.

So why her? Why did she also have to be born with a heart defect? She had heart surgery when she was really young and we all thought that was the worst of it. We thought that she was now our perfect little angel. She lived through that, she could live through anything. But it's like we never stop getting hit in the face.

A year or two ago Hayden started having chest problems. She got an x-ray and it came back that she had a tumor. They took out the tumor that was benign and she went back to being her cute little happy self. She was cured, well what we thought.. Then about a month ago Hayden was diagnosed with having another tumor. Same type as the last so we all had high hopes.

Why her? Why does she have to be the one with such a hard life? Why does this perfect little girl have to be the one that is hurting? I want to take all the pain I can away from her and do it myself. If I could be as strong as she is, then I wouldn't have anything to worry about.

About a week ago, while back at school, I found out that Hayden's tumor wasn't benign this time and she has cancer. So why her? Isn't it enough that she has already had so many surgeries?

Hayden is my little sunshine when I'm sad. Even when she gets mad at me there's no way that I can get mad at her. She could yell at me and tell me how much she doesn't like me that day and I will love her with everything in me. It's like she can fill up my heart so much that it overflows. So why her? Why does God have to be so cruel sometimes?

It's one question I don't have answered..