What if the world was more like Carina?

So I go to Catalina Island every year for a camp called Campus By The Sea. A few years ago I met a family there that has a little girl named Carina in it. A few days ago that family called me and asked me to babysit there kids while they go and get one of their kids from a camp. So of course I said yes because I love them so much. Carina has Down Syndrome and can be a handful at times but the things that this girl says makes you just want to be with her 24/7. Who doesn't want a little girl complimenting you on everything?
"I like your shiny black hair!"
"I like your necklace!"
"I like your dress!"
You get the picture. So what if the world was more like Carina? Always there for you when you need a pick me up, and always there to make you feel better about yourself.

Girls go through a time when they think that they are so ugly, and there are so many different things wrong with them. Carina makes you feel like you are just as God intended you to be that you are the prettiest girl on the planet. Like I said, I babysat her for about 6 hours the other day and as soon as I walked in.. The compliments started flowing.

Carina: "HI!! Are you Makena's sister?"
Me: "Yeah, I'm Kili."
Carina: "Oh, hello Kili!" (Gives me a hug, for no reason)
"Where are your shoes?"
Me: "They are right over here.."
Carina: "Oh, I like your flip flops. They are very pretty."
"And I like your hair. It's like Barbie hair!"

Who doesn't want to hear that when they walk in the door?

So the next time you tell someone that there is something wrong about them, think about how great it would feel to hear someone tell you that you are the most gorgeous perosn in the world. Everyone needs a pick me up every once in a while. Carina is my pick me up! :)

In reality, Carina is everyone's pick me. I hope you get to meet her one day. She also gives the best hugs. So loving.

What else can go wrong?

So let me just say that I wouldn't change a thing about going to Europe. Everything that happened to me and everything that I did definitely made me who I am today.. I grew up a lot and definitely lost a lot of things on the way. It all started on the first day..

I got into Milan at about 8 in the morning and got to the hotel about 1-2 hours later. Once I got to the hotel they told me that my room wasn't ready so I should try and go out and look for something to do or hang out in the lobby.. I went and ventured out into Milan but I was really really tired. I finally got a room 3-4 hours later and went straight to bed.. Finally everyone got there.. :) way better now.

Next thing bad that happened was the next day when we were on the bus going to the Duomo in Milan and someone threw up on the bus.. Oh, and it was very very very hot that day so the bus definitely had a tang to it after that.. Good thing that we got a different bus the next day haha.

In Venice it rained a lot so that did suck but oh well, we were in Venice. When we were on the boat leaving the lace factory (which was oooooober lame btw) and I was sitting next to a window when all of a sudden we hit a wave and it decided to come through the little window and splash me, and only me.. my head and shirt was soaking.. good thing that I had another shirt in Kristen's backpack.. sweet..

Next up was Lucca and I lost my phone when we were in the TOURIST center.. Of all places! I called the center and they said that nothing was turned in and when I called it, it went straight to voicemail so I knew that someone took it.. That was a sucky time cause there was noooo way to get ahold of momma Kristen and papa Peter.. Oh well.. Life goes on.

Then it rained in every city we went to after that and finally it was time to go out into the world on my own (well with Kristen too...). PARIS WAS NEXT! We met some cool Australians.. and it was definitely a good trip.. until the last day. Besides the fact that when in Paris Kristen and I split up for the day.. I lost my ATM card from the cab that we took to the train station.. How? I have nooooo flippin idea. (OH and to top THAT off.. The cab driver was a crazy old hag who started the timer on the cab when she started putting our bags in the car.. weird, and not okay).

Next and last up was London.. For 5 days Kristen and I were sick of each other and just wanted to come home so the whooooole trip was just not that great.

Something happened in every city but I can say that there were more good than bad. Things that happened on that trip, I will remember forever and can't wait to go back and do it all over again. All of the things that I got to experience just made me a bigger and better person. I grew up a lot of the course of 18 days and it is just what I need before I start college. How many 17 year olds are able to say that they got to see The Last Supper, or the Statue of David? How many are able to say that they walked all the way up and down the Eiffel Tower in 1 hours and 57 minutes? Or able to say that they took pictures at the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, and saw the walls of Lucca in 3 weeks? Not that many, and for that reason.. I am very blessed and thankful that it was ME that was able to experience it all.

I wouldn't change anything that changed me for the better

How old am I?

I'm 17 and almost graduating high school so why do my parents insist on treating my like I'm still in elementary school? (My mom really tried to give me a 9:30 curfew last weekend). Really though? If I was doing something that I shouldn't be doing, I probably would have been in jail a few times by now or at least gotten caught. And yeah, I admit, I have gotten caught for being untruthful but I have learned my lesson.. So why do I still get the little kid treatment?

Shouldn't I get freedom to do as I please? Or at least do as I please to a certain extent. It's as if they have no trust in me.

I work 6 days a week, but that doesn't make me responsible enough..
I am graduating with at least a 3.0, but that doesn't make me responsible enough..
I pay for ALMOST everything, but that doesn't make me responsible enough..
I got into a good college, but that doesn't make me responsible enough..

SWEET!

And the whole honesty thing.. My mom always wants me to be honest with her so when I try to tell her that I'm going somewhere it's like she can always make up an excuse on why I can't go..
"You've been gone all weekend"
Yeah, I've been gone all weekend because I work 8 hour days.

College can't come soon enough.

Where are you going?

I feel like I'm on my way to nowhere. I'm sitting in the car waiting for the next 99 miles to go by so I can get to the University of Nevada, Reno in one piece. When I look out the window I see the same thing as I pass the cars on my right... Hippies going back to their mountains, snowboard bros trying to shred the freshest powder (well in this case, the sludge left over from the last winter), and motorcyles twirling in and out of lanes. Every once in a while I'll run into the hick's going back to their cabin in the middle of nowhere.
In the upcoming fall I will be the one that someone drives by and wonders what I am doing on 80 east towards Reno. I'm definitely not the hippie going back to the mountain, or the snowboarder. I will just be the student that's trying to get through the year and came home to get a home cooked meal.

I'm going to miss having a kitchen that I made all my disasterous meals in. I took every burned toast, overcooked noodles, and random meals for granted. I want to be able to burn my own cookies and slurp up the mush of noodles.. I guess that's why my mom wanted me to go to UNR so bad. She knows me too well. I want to be away from home to experience the college life but not too far where I feel like I am alone.

Meeting new people is always a struggle for me. Today is a day to experience all that joy. To walk into a room of my piers and be instantly judged. Just my cup of tea. But whatever they think, I know the truth. That's all that matters in the end.

Just listening to my iPod and texting away. What a beautiful day outside. Enjoy the burnt toast, the mushy noodles, and your OWN bed. Goodbye for now my loves.

What was today like for Kili Ongoy?

Today was a day that I got to relax.
Today I achieved something that makes me proud.
Today was about new beginnings and happy endings.
Today has all the details of a new life.
Today had big potential.
Today was great.
Today was full of regret.. That I didn't do my best in high school.
Today made me realize that things happen for a reason.
Today had that state of mind that said "so what.. MOVE ON."
Today meant that there was a new tomorrow.
Today could have been much more but the amount it was, was just right.
Today I was alive in all aspects of life.

I started off today with a great day at school. I was happy. I loved the place of mind that I was in. And most of all, today put a smile on my face.

College has been stressful and I have been freaking about it for the past few months. Stressing over something so simple. Today was the day I made my decision to go to college at University of Nevada Reno. I didn't get into UCSB for a reason. Maybe STD's aren't my thing! Definitely not my thing. I am in the pool for housing and that is a great feelings.

Today I realized that there is always tomorrow. If I mess up today, I have tomorrow to start anew and even fix what I have done to mess up today. Today I had one of those days that I reflected on the past few months. All the things that I have done that I wish I could have done better. LIKE high school. There is a major part of me that would've wished I would have done better. But thins happen for a reason.

I mentioned that today is a day that has all the details of a new life. I can now think about the future without freaking out about what I am going to do. I am going to go to UNR and I am going to make the best out of it. Today had great potential.. that will lead into something better. Today was one of those days that laid out everything for my life that will be in the upcoming year.

There may be things in my future that will upset me and piss me off but today was not one of those days. Today was full of laughter and smiles. It was one of those days that really nothing could have made my day upset. It started with a perfect day, full of my friends that were all smiling. A smile goes a million miles.

Today there was a point that I just relaxed. I felt so alive that all I wanted to do was take a moment and pause. Pause and see what my life was like from the outside. AMAZING! There is always moving on and forgetting about the past, today was a day that I finally achieved that logic. I realized that today was a perfect day for me. I felt relaxed because I am not afraid of college anymore.


"It doesn't matter where we take this road.."

Tomorrow if a golden train came to take you away, would you go or would you stay?

Justin Nozuka sings a song called Golden Train where he is talking to a girl that he is in love with me. In the beginning of the song he says that he just wants to be with her and near her and than has starts thinking of "if a golden train came to take you away, would you go or would you stay?" and starts panicing of if she was really gone.

If there was ever to chance to just get up and leave the life that you were living, would you take it? Would you take the opportunity to leave all the friends and family that you have right now and make something else out of your life? Are the people in your life worth staying for?

I have friends that I love and family that I would do anything for but what exactly would make me want to stay because of that.

If someone asked me if I would take that golden train right now, my first response would be yes because life is short and I want to make the most out of the life that I have on earth. I want to be able to sit on the front porch when I am 80 years old and think about what an idiot I was for making some crazy adventure or think back with old friends and say "that was fun, I'll never forget that." So most likely I would WANT to get on that golden train to anywhere but the more I think about it.. Once I stand up near that conductor I will run as fast as I can back to my "safe house."

I have second thoughts all the time about going OFF to college without a safe house to run back to so how could I up and leave the life that I have now forever? I would never want to leave the people that I have in life bcause they are all in my life for a reason. I don't know why everyone is in my life but once I find out, I will know that it is important. What would I do without my mom there to take care of every boo boo that I get? Or what would I do without my sister to complain about EVERYTHING to.. or even better, to talk about EVERYTHING with. I love my bestfriends and I don't know how I could have any better ones.

There are things in life that make you want to jump on that golden train and never look back but stop and think of all the things in life that make you hold back and stay in the place you are at. What exactly are you waiting for?

Everyone has a different reason that they don't want to jump on that train. My reason, as of now is friends and family. I hope that one day I will be able to jump on that golden train and have the ride of my life.

I don't want to be gone forever because I love the life that I have but I want to be 80 and say that I rode the golden train at least once.


[ANOTHER DAY OF RAMBLING COMPLETED]

How many kids will you have?

NOT 14 IF I AM EVER ON WELFARE (IF I EVER NEED TO BE.. I'M GOING TO THE ARMY)




In 1996 5% percent of all Americans are on some sort of financial aid (excluding college financial aid), now 30% of all Americans are in need of financial aid, 12 % of the federal budget is devoted to welfare for the middle class and wealthy in the form of tax credits, no interest mortgages, home investment incentives, and 39% of the people are welfare are white. I just want to get a few things straight before I jump into this. There are myths out in the world that state African American’s are the most people on welfare, untrue. Considering that African American’s only make up 14% of the United States, and they are also lower in percentage of those that are white proves that they work for their money’s. Some people just want to put blame on someone that can take it. White’s are lazier than black’s. Proven fact by welfare statistics, and also we have Nadya Suleman to thank for reassurance.

A little over 10 years ago, we were in need a quarter less than we are now. Times are tough and people need help. Unemployment rates are high; though they are not higher than they have ever been despite the bull that people are saying. Does welfare necessarily entitle you to all the luxuries that everyone else can enjoy? In the past month, America has learned of a mother that now has 14 kids. She is collecting welfare for those kids due to “unemployment.” Welfare is designed to give people the income that they not necessarily would get with a minimum wage job. With 14 kids, it is almost a given that you will not survive in today’s economy without the income of more than minimum wage. Nadya Suleman has made headlines as the single mother of the 14 kids and as the mother of 14 children on welfare. Before the octuplets, she had six children already living in her mother’s three bedroom house that was to be foreclosed on May 5th. This woman is using government aid to love and care for these children, as she claims. But is she really? She looks a lot like Angelina Jolie and seems to be caring a lot more about her fame than she is about the health of her newborn children and the children that she already has at home. She has called Dr. Phil to tape on his show, and has even appeared in a 20/20 interview. Where are her kids that she is working so hard to keep? They don't seem to be anywhere in sight. She is not looking for a job very hard, and is actually considering working for a hardcore porn video for one million dollars.

There should be a limit on how many children that you are allowed to have if you are on welfare. If someone wants to have a farm of children and can take care of them without other’s tax money, than have at it. Have three farms! There are families in the United States that were able to care for their kids until they reached the age that needed money for themselves (college, housing, entertainment, etc.) but than needed welfare to get their children’s on the right direction to be able to let go. There is no shame in that, but there is shame on having kids to get more money for welfare. If there isn’t a limit on that, then people can and WILL take advantage of the situation. Nadya Suleman seems to be a perfect example of that. She was interviewed and asked the question of why she wanted to have more children. Nadya Suleman’s response was that she didn’t have a great childhood growing up so she wanted to recreate that for her kids. She sounds like a liar that wants money from her child to get more plastic surgery done so she can try and steal Brad Pitt away with Angelina in an attempt to pretend to be her. Of course that is just a theory but a theory that can be done.

Being on welfare is defined as receiving financial aid from the government or from a private organization because of hardship and need. Welfare is also defined as the good fortune, health, happiness, prosperity, etc., of a person, group, or organization; well-being. There are a few things some people do not understand. If someone is on welfare, they shouldn’t be using it to practice their own welfare. Free money isn’t there to get plastic surgery, or to buy your clothes at Nordstrom. Welfare was made to help get yourself back on track, not for it to be there for the rest of your life. Really think about what’s wrong with the idea of welfare. The idea that it puts in people’s minds that they are able to have money as long as they have kids, or as long as they get married they are able to have more.

If a family starts off on welfare, before even really starting a family they wouldn’t give the impression of being stable enough to care for more than themselves. Some people believe that having children was their destiny on this earth. If that was the case, than go ahead and have kids. Don’t use my money to do that. IF worse comes to worse, than only use my money for three children. Beyond that is a cry out for more money to do with what they please. There wouldn’t necessarily be a problem with people on welfare and a lot of kids if they were working as hard as they possibly could to not have to be on welfare for the next ten years (that is how long most American’s are on welfare for). Hard times call for hard realities. Reality is I don’t want to pay for someone else’s stupid mistake. Use a condom, don’t have sex, and do whatever it takes to keep me and my money out of it. If that is ever achieved, I will be quite content.

Are you fat?

Just take this quiz and find out..

Um have you ever seen those ads? If not that's upsetting. Basically it's a fat cartoon that turns from fat to skilly and it says "Are you fat? Take this quiz and find out!"

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU FIND OUT IF YOU ARE FAT BY A QUIZ? Last time I checked, the way you find out if you are fat or not is by stepping on a scale and seeing if it breaks. Or look in the mirror and see if you have rolls. If you're brave enough, you could even put on a bikini/speedo and walk outside, see how many people throw up. That's when you know you are fat or not.

Look around, America is the fat capital of the world. So why do we now need a quiz online to tell us that. That's just ridiculous. And the people who actually take the quiz? Really? If you need to take that quiz to find out if you are fat are not.. ODDS are that you are fat.

I just don't get what that is supposed to accomplish? Tell the fat people on the computer that sits there all day and shoves fried twinkies in their mouth that they need to take a quiz to see if they are fat.. Hmm there is something wrong with that sentence.

It's almost like telling the 500 pound woman that she needs to step on a scale to see if she is fat or not? LOOK AT HER. She's fat.

And it's not JUST that ad that is bothersome. The ones that ask "Are you in love? Take THIS quiz and find out!" Once again, how can a quiz online tell you if you are "in love"? Sometimes the internet just takes things too far. It's absurd. Shouldn't you know if you are in love with someone by what your heart tells you?

So the moral of this story is.. FIND OUT IF YOU ARE FAT OR IN LOVE BY TAKING A QUIZ ONLINE.. AND MAKE SURE TO BELIEVE WHAT IT SAYS TOO BECAUSE THAT'S JUST SMART.

For the people out in the world that actually do that.. I feel sorry for you.

Where are you going next year?

"Where are you going next year?" seems to be the question of the year. Pressure is all that it is building up to. I don't know where I am going next year because I don't know what colleges are going to accept me. If CSULB won't even accept me because of budget cuts who knows who will ACTUALLY accept me.

I just feel so lost when it comes to next year. Where will I end up? I would love to know right now but it's just not that simple. Once again I need faith that I am going to be going to a school that is perfect for me. Going to a school that will love to have me and that I will have an awesome time at. So far I am actually thinking of going to University of Nevada, Reno. It's a great school.. That's all I got. It's in a sucky location, and it's freezing. Oh and there's snow.

Snow-NO.

What am I supposed to do when people ask me where I am going to school next year? If I could say that it's in God's hand than I would. But how can I say that when I am the one that ultimately picks where I am going to be going. So what if I get into all the other colleges that I have applied to (UCSB, UCSD, San Diego State..etc), there still is the decision of where I am actually going to go. God can't really make that decision for me.. Well I guess he can but I am the one that physically makes that decision so..

HOW AM I GOING TO KNOW WHERE TO GO?

It is scary to think about and it's the most pressure that I have been under since I was on the swim team when I was 12. School is the last thing that I want to worry about right now but it will always be the thing that I am worried about. I want to be the one that goes to school and loves it, not the girl that goes to school and wonders what it would be like to go to another school. Thinking it was the wrong choice the whole time. I would hate that and I do not want that to happen.

So.. Where am I going next year? Ask Him. Only God knows. And God knows, I have no idea.

You have the kissing disease?

Considering that I haven't kissed anyone in a very long time.. how can I of all people have the kissing disease? Mono is the most ridiculous virus/disease/whatever you want to call it.. ever.

So it has been a few days since I have been to school and I already know that I am going to be missing a lot. when I was talking to a friend about how I am going to be so behind we got on the subject of dropping out of school. I said that if I could not get back on track for awhile than I was going to drop out of school and pretty much go live down by the river. He actually thought I was serious! Me, serious? Are you sure about that? I am the most sarcastic person I know and I am also the most motivated person. So why would I drop out of school?

Yeah so apparently I am going to drop out of school because go for a week and than I am going to live down by river. What do you say? Anyone want to join me?

Okay anyways, I have mono. I have been stuck on my couch for the past few days. I have done nothing but drink gatorade and watch reruns of Friends. The last part is the only part that I have enjoyed. Eating or drinking anything hurts like hell and I'm too tired to go anywhere. I have my own little apartment inside of my house.

Yess I call it my apartment, so laugh as much as you want but it made me laugh. I have a blanket, my laptop, the tv, and of course my favorite puppy curled up next to me the whole time. I need meds!

Very strong meds please.

Is the window rolled down?

"No Spencer!" Today is my little cousin, Spencer's 14th birthday. YAY!! He will always be the little boy that we used to dress up as a princess but he is just bigger now and probably could take me if we started to dress him up again. Who knows, we should try it!

Today I picked him and his girlfriend up from school like I do every Thursday and I dropped her off. After we were "heading back to the house" I told him that we were going to get Leatherby's since it was his birthday. Because he is just a boy, he got the biggest smile on his face and got excited. There was just one thing that I wasn't expecting him to say.. "I just can't eat that much." Are you kidding me? It was like he was trying to watch his weight or something. I gave him a pretty dirty look (I'm such a nice cousin) and he explained that because he had a wrestling match he couldn't eat that much otherwise he would puke all over the mat.

I laughed and we continued our journey. Some say that because he was the "closest" cousin to me, he and I get along great. I say we get along great because we are very much alike. Like, on the way to Leatherby's we passed by the SMART car dealership. We both thought the same thing at the same time and Spencer said it outloud: "You could totally jack one of those cars with like a big van or something, or just put it in the bed of a truck. Hella easy." Oh gotta love your cousins!

We finally got to Leatherby's and Jill was working! She's one of the nicest people that I know and she was all smiles when we got there. We took our seat and started looking at the menu. We ordered our ice cream and fries (YUMMY!!) and were on our way!! They sang Happy Birthday to Spencer (Jill practically screamed the song.. Which made going to Leatherby's amazing) and embarrassed the crap out of him :).

This is where my laughing attack begins. On the way home from Leatherby's we passed El Camino. He saw someone he knew in the car that JUST passed us and was waiting at the stop light when he screamed! "FLAX!!" The window was completely rolled up and he yelled so loud. I just started cracking up and stared at him "Spencer the window isn't rolled down!" He looked at me with what looked like a very confused face. "I guess I thought about rolling down the window and then realized that it was too late so I just screamed. Wow, I feel so dumb!" I just couldn't stop laughing and of course couldn't stop pointing out how much of an idiot he was for that. As soon as we stopped laughing, he looked at me with a very serious face.. "You BETTER NOT put that in your blog!"

Of course I did! How dare he think I wouldn't. My little cousin will never be free of embarrassment and I will never be free of entertainment. I hope his day was amazing because even though it's not MY birthday, he made my day amazing.

Need the garden?

Waldo has a mini rock garden that you are supposed to rake if you are stressed out. I guess one of the teachers awhile ago told him that he needed to relieve the stress that he had so he went out and bought the mini rock garden. When I say mini, I mean mini! I don't even know how to explain how small it is. Just picture like a 4 x 4 little box with "little rocks" (that when inside the box make the rocks look HUGE!) and a little rake that looks like it can be snapped in half at any second of the day.



Apparently in the hallways there were a couple girls that were being VERY loud and he tried to deal with it. Waldo's version of dealing with things that make him mad/upset/annoyed/etc. is to put them on the podium where he then proceeds to ask them questions in front of the whole class. For these particular "ghetto" girls, it was

"What are your names?"

"Why are you so loud?"

Questions like that.

While telling the story about the "ghetto" girls, Oliver's eyes are tuned onto the computer screen like every other day. You never quite know if he is listening to the conversation or if he is wrapped up in the thing that is on the computer screen. Today, he was definitely listening to the story. After Waldo did his reenactment of the "ghetto" girls and their "ghettoness" Oliver suggested that Waldo needed the rock garden to relieve his stress. I, of course, laughed very hard and got to thinking about the rock garden.



We all have our own rock garden and for each person it is different. My rock garden is to cry.. It is the only way that I can fully start over. (TRUE GIRL!) For others it could be a lot more. Playing sports, stress eating, sleeping, etc. That is when I started to think about a healthy way to relieve stress. What if instead of screaming at the top of your lungs about everything that is going wrong we were proactive. Volunteering for a family in need or something that actually makes a difference. If volunteering seems more stressful than what about reading a book or something. I am actually trying different ways of relieving stress. Reading is a keeper!

A rock garden is not. The sand would spill to easily since I am a clutz and all.

Why do I have the worst immune system ever?

Today has been a day of ibuprofen's and tv shows. Lots of liquids and even more sleep. Why do I have the worst immune system ever? Sometimes it can come in handy.. no work, no school, no chores, etc. But sometimes it just sucks.. achey, dizzy, no idea what's going on in school, etc. I wish there was a cure for the common cold. I would be the number 1 fan!

Because I didn't go to school today meant that I got to catch up on my tv shows that I have missed over the weekend. Mostly Friends. Friends is the best show ever and I have missed so much about it. The episode I watched today was about Frankie Jr. How Phoebe's younger brother came to New York to spend some time with her and to experience New York. He experiences every part of New York.. The good, and the bad. He goes to see Central Park, and trys to find a hooker. Once Phoebe finds out that he thinks HER friend is a hooker, she wants to kick him out of the city pretty much. She gets really mad and starts getting pissed off at him.

In a very small way, it is how life goes. When things are going right we tend to be very happy. When things piss us off we flip out and want to take drastic measures. Often I find myself doing that. I find myself flipping out over some little mistake. I misunderstand a lot and jump to conclusions more than necessary. I need to work on that and I am learning.

But exactly how am I supposed to do that? Just stop talking about things? If something makes me upset, I will be stubborn and will say something that isn't necessary. Is that normal though? People have told me that keeping things in isn't really a good thing ALL the time.. I need that filter. The filter that says when is an appropriate way of telling people my feelings. When jumping to conclusions can actually help.. and when it won't.

Oliver, do you have a poll?

So everyday in 4th period Waldo asks Oliver if he has a poll. And almost everyday he has one.. The one that stuck out the most is the one where he asked this question..

"How many of you think that old people shouldn't do young activities? Like wear bikini's out in public and stuff."

98% of the class raised their hand. OF COURSE there was that 2% that decided that it was okay to be able to wear bikini's out in public even though you don't look like a 17 year old supermodel anymore and it is now all saggy.. I was part of the 98% of the class that DID raise their hand.

Today I experienced first hand why that is NEVER a good idea. While at Lover's Point with the Clymo girls and Amy we saw a guy. He was definitely not the youngest guy on the block and he definitely didn't have the body of a young guy. Most of you already know where this is heading but for those that are completely clueless.. Be P.R.E.P.A.R.E.D. He was wearing a tye dye speedo while playing paddle ball with his 'partner'. Oh don't forget that he had a fake orange tan! Now, however you want to interpret 'partner' is up to you.

I think I can speak for most of that cove when I say that Oliver's poll was pretty much dead on. We even got a picture of tye dye guy. Amy came up with the idea of pretending to stand in front of the guy while he was playing paddle board and than I would go off to the side with the camera and take a picture of him while it LOOKED like I was taking a picture of them. It's an intense picture. (No worries, I did take a REAL picture of Chels and Amy so it wasn't SOOO obvious).

Today was just an all around different day. Fun for sure!
Betty's Burgers in Santa Cruz is a MUST! Seeing Brett was fun.. I hate UCSC. :)

Are we there yet?

2 and a half hours, 2 waters, 2 sunny-d's, a few granola bars, and almost a whole thing of pringles later.. MONTEREY! The ride down here wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be so that is always a good thing. I arrived here about 7 hours ago and it has been a nonstop day.

I am excited to be able to go to sleep and get a WELL RESTED night for once this week. Sydney has taken my spot in the bed with Chels so I am stuck with the couch. It's all good though, I am just thankful I have a place to lay my head tonight.

Tomorrow is going to be an eventful day and I am excited about it. Hopefully the beach sells me because according to everyone and their mother.. Monterey Bay won't.

In conclusion today has been an amazing day.
Seeing Clymo's all boy's school (Ridiculous.. All the locks are even the same color!!)
Picking up Sydney from day care (With that huge smile on her face like she actually missed us)
Going to Kailey's recital (Where she punked the boys on stage for not doing it right.. You know you are related to Clymo when...)
Dinner at Knuckles (Where Sydney made me pray)
And now back at the house where there is peace and quiet..

The lesson learned today: WATCH OUT FOR IDIOT DRIVERS ON THE 101.. THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM :)

Anyone have any Tylenol?

To say the least, we smashed tonight vs. ML. But to say more..

It was ridiculous. We were losing in the beginning (by one at the most.. but still, it's MIRA LOMA!) but we eventually started dominating. A little before half time is when it started getting good. The Mira Loma cheerleaders on the other side ACTUALLY thought they were good.

Hey, newsflash... Your team sucks and so does your cheer team so in all fairness, there is nothing left for you to cheer about unless you want to cheer for us! :)

Of course that is not how it went down. They did some cheer talking crap and of course we couldn't hear them since there was about 5 of them over there and about 30 of us over here. We weren't AS RUDE AS WE COULD'VE been so before you judge us for being mean, just remember that.

So they would be cool and all and cheer and it sucked and we could never hear them.. EXCEPT when their team actually scored on a free throw.. *stomp*stomp*clap*clap*SWOOSH* That was probably their best cheer of the whole night.

And yes, we did steal it. It was a fun cheer to do since we got to do it a lot more than they did (with our team actually scoring and such). There's one thing that the ML's cheer squad (ML in general) doesn't have, that is JOSH WOHLFORD. He screams like an "eagle." It sounds more like a dying pig. Regardless of what the "sound" is.. It was high pitched and in my left ear for the whole game.

I tried to make Tennyson switch with him but it only moved him over so nothing was blocking his screaming from my ear. Kinda sucked, but it is something that will always be remembered.

Remember when Josh screamed like a dying pig/terradactyl/eagle thingy..?

I officially need some Tylenol for the crazy headache that is accumulating inside of my head. It was worth the 3 dollars that I had to pay to get in the game, and the 3 dollars that I had to pay for Biz to get in the game.. And it was worth all the crazy screaming across the basketball court at the 5 little cheerleaders that weren't very good at cheering.

Even the cop couldn't stop us :)

NA NA NA NA,
NA NA NA NA,
HEY! HEY! HEY!
GOOOOODBYEEEE ;)

Can you hear me now?

Like the cellphone commercial "Can you hear me now?" there is always that one person that trys to hear EVERYTHING! The eavesdroppers, the ones that ask too many questions, and than there are the ones that just KNOW everything. But what if you really could hear all? Hear all thoughts that have ever been thought or thoughts that are being thought that that moment.

I don't want to talk about anything that happened today. I just want to talk about thoughts. Usually when you ask someone what they are thinking, they either don't answer you and say it's private or they make up something ridiculouls. I am guilty of doing both. If I am thinking about something, I am obviously not saying it out loud for a reason.

A good reason that I think my thoughts instead if saying them is: it might hurt your feelings/ego/etc., it isn't worth saying, or you will probably just think I'm crazy. I have always wondered what it would be like to be able to look into someone's mind for a day. Or multiple people's minds. Who would I choose? There are a few people in my life right now that I would LOVE to hear their thoughts.

What do they think about life?
What is they think their purpose is on this earth?
Who do they want to be?
What they are trying to accomplish?
Do they want to have some effect on someone's life or is it just whatever?

Some simple questions that could make me see them a lot easier without them knowing that I know. I know that I could simply just ask them these questions but what is the fun in that? It is always fun to be able to know things that others don't know right? Kinda like being unique in your own very sneaky way.

I will admit that I never really thought about the whole listening to others thoughts until I read the Twilight series..

Honestly, is it ever a good idea to know someone's EVERY thought? I am pretty sure that if I walked down the hallway of my high school, I would pass about 10-15 people, just in that short 5 minute passing period, thinking horrible thoughts about me or my friends.

Like I said, some thoughts are kept private for very good reasons! I wouldn't be able to handle the truth in someone's own mind when it hits me directly like that. I would probably have a hayday about it.

So in conclusion, I wouldn't want to hear anyone's thoughts. My head is the only place where I know that I will be completely safe. No one will be able to know anything about it and that is what makes me feel safe and peaceful.



I like my space. I love my thoughts.

What if the world was more like Oliver?

There is a guy that I would like to talk about. His name is Oliver Jamie Johnson. For those who went to Cowan Fundamental, he is known as Jamie.. For those that met him in middle school or high school his name is Oliver.

Oliver isn't like any other guy. He has gone through some tough things that I can not even imagine how hard it must have been for him.Oliver was in my math class with Mrs. Riggs during my freshman or sophomore year. During that year he got really sick and they found out that he had a tumor in his brain and it was cancerous. So yes, Oliver had cancer. Had, being the most important word there. He is doing amazing now and to my knowledge all the cancer is gone.

Going through all that crap he had the best attitude about it. He was always so positive and always SOOO happy. I remember when he came back to my math class he wanted to take a poll.. About something so random but so fun. He never acted like he had cancer and you would never know except for his shaved head.

Today in class (he is the TA for my Political Science) Mr. Waldo was talking about the bus system and how if you are on jury duty than they will give you money for the bus fair. That is when Oliver comes in..

Oliver: "I love Regional Tranist. Bus #23 is my favorite!"
Mr. Waldo: "Why is #23 your favorite?"
Oliver: "It hits all 3 malls!"
Mr. Waldo: "That is always a good bus than. What's your favorite mall?"
Oliver: "Well I like pretzeltime in Sunrise the best so probably Sunrise."
Mr. Waldo: "hahaha okay, fair enough."

He is just always so nice and is one of the funniest people I know. He isn't funny because he MAKES jokes and wants people to laugh. He is just naturally funny. Everything he says is just hilarious.

Mr. Waldo: "Does anyone smell that sour smell?"
Oliver: "It's Miles."
(The whole class just starts laughing)
Oliver: "(clears his throat) Excuse me."
^Definitely one of the funniest things that has ever happened in that class.

So what I'm trying to get at is what if the world was more like Oliver Johnson? What if no one cared about what others thought and just wanted to have a good time and make everyone happy all the time? The world would be a much better place. If everyone was like Oliver Johnson, people would have to be happy all the time and they would just have a great time. Polls would be more accurate since he takes polls like it's going out of style.

For the most part, Oliver has changed my perspective on life and how we should treat it. Take nothing for granted because you never know if your next breath will be your last. So don't talk bad about someone or something because that might be the last breath you use.

Just something to ponder. Thanks Oliver, for always having such a positivie attitude

Should he be tried for murder?

There is absolutely nothing that is worth explaining in full detail but.. I will anways because that is what I do best when I am bored. So feel free to stop reading at anytime.

Every had one of those days that you do NOT want to get up? For me that is Monday-Saturday. I only say Saturday because I have to wake up and be at work by 6:30 in the morning so it is like another school day but an hour and a half earlier than normal. Well today was one of those days which is pretty self explanitory of how the rest of my day went.. Right down the crapper.

I get to school (late), and when I get to the attendence office to get my re-admit the lady that was writing it out starts talking about how her nephew wore a wolf costume and it was the cutest thing ever. Um lady, I am late and you are rambling of at 8:00 in the morning about something I do not care about.. But thanks anyways. So I get to Calculus, annoyed, stressed, and way confused. I sit down and she starts talking about us getting in groups. SWEET! The test is going to be a group test! Okay, so I was wrong. The test has been postponed which means that all the studying (cramming) I did yesterday is going to be totally useless for tomorrow. Wow, that doesn't make things frustrating at all. So whatever, I decide to be excited that the test isn't today and start doing my homework... Only to find out that the homework that I had already done isn't finished because MY paper doesn't have a backside. Sweet, so I have to do it all over again. Just my cup of tea. Finally the class ends and it's on to second period.

The most ridiculous class that I have ever been in because I learn about as much as you can fit in a nutshell. She pretty much has gotten as far as telling us where our name should be on an essay (not that I have ever written one worth putting my name on but it's still a nice piece of information to have in the near future.. right?). So that went by fast thank God. And I read about 20 more pages in my book.

3rd period: TA.. blah. Wrote everyone's name down like they were getting detention or something.. Totally useless. But Cadenhead had M&M's so I didn't complain. I just did it with a smile and shoved as many M&M's in my mouth as I could. hahaha it made my day!

And this is where it gets even better. Political Science. Today there weren't that GREAT of debates but still debates that pissed me off. Background: We read an article about 3 sailors that get shipwrecked out in the middle of the ocean. About 1000 miles from shore and 500 miles from where any NORMAL ship would ever pass. One of the guys says that they won't live more than 30 days without food so on the 25th day of no food this other guy suggests that they draw names on who will be killed so the other 2 can live. Of course the idiot with the plan is the one who's name is drawn and they decide to kill him but he decides that it was stupid (his first smart thing he thought of that whole day) and he doesn't want to go through with it. He is already the weakest guy there so they kill him anyways. Yada yada yada.. He dies, they eat him. They finally get rescued and the 2 guys that survived told the police about what happend to the other guy. They are tried for murder. Is that right? Or wrong? I said that it was right to try them for murder because well.. THEY KILLED HIM. And half of the class of course argued that it is stupid to try them for murder when it was his idea in the first place.

If I was that guy.. (the stupid one that came up with this little game of drawing names out of a hat for life and death) I would want someone to be tried for murdering me when OBVIOUSLY I wasn't in my sane mind when I thought about the plan. But I will never know what is right and wrong because it was a made up article that was in out textbook for no valid reason.

WORK! The surprisingly best part of my day. So around 6 o'clock every Monday there is a guy named Jimbo that comes into my work. His wife does an aquatic class while he just sits in the lobby and waits for her to get done. Most Monday's I am wearing my glasses so most Monday's he brings me these glasses wipes things.. haha I don't really know what to call it. But this Monday was a little different. As I am standing up at the front waiting for him to walk up to me and hand me the glasses cleaner, he comes up with a Rice Krispy treat as well. SCORE! I got a Rice Krispy treat.. And than he gives me the best gift of the day.. A crown that says "i luv jacob" He said that there were some kids who were making crowns and their parents didn't pick them up after they made them so he decided to give me one. So now I have my glasses wipes, a Rice Krispy treat, and a crown.

My life is complete! (I told you, you could stop reading at anytime)

Is it all going to work out?

Of course it is. Just not in the way most people want.

(On a different note before I start my rant for the night.. 11 months until Christmas!)

I went to church today! Congrats to me.. Second time in about.. four or five months? That sounds bad. Anyways, it was amzing. Made me think about a lot and realize a lot too. I just kept asking myself if it was all going to work out. They talk about how we should trust God in everything we do but in reality how many people can say that they do? Okay, so maybe a lot. I am certainly not one of them (though I am working on it).

I think about College a lot and I try to think about what the right choice is. I want to know where I should go but really only I can decide (and my parents for that financial crap that I love..). If I make the wrong choice, will God tell me? Or will I just try and figure it out on my own? Probably try and figure it out of my own because I am stubborn like that. That was morning thought.

As the day progressed I started thinking about tomorrow. TOMORROW: Calc test, bringing up Monterey to the parentals, work.. etc. I came home from church and started cleaning my room trying to clear my head because what I was thinking about, was definitely not something that I wanted to deal with at the moment.

Things just weren't working out the way I wanted them to. My calc test tomorrow is going to be a failure because I can't seem to remember anything we learned after break (STUPID DISNEYLAND) and I can't seem to want to remember anything we learned after break. I studied for a little bit and decided that Facebook looked way more appealing. So I went on that and started cleaning my room again.

Once again, I got distracted and I started to do something else. This time, I couldn't stop doing it. I read Breaking Dawn. I probably read over 150 pages tonight.. all because I don't want to deal with my calc test, or work, or anything else that is going on tomorrow.

IT FEELS LIKE IT ISN'T GOING TO WORK OUT.

Nothing is. But I have to somewhat be patient. Patience is one thing that I lack. VERY MUCH SO.. Hypocrite, I know. (For those who don't know, I always tell people to be patience because it annoys the hell out of me when someone is antsy about something.. Sorry if I do it in the future).
Anyways, I am taking my own advice for once and telling myself that everything is going to work out fine.

So what if I fail my calc test, there will be plenty of tests in the future to pass. So you know what? Everything is going to work out.. In it's own little way..

Someone told me tonight.. Patience is key.

Ongoy, what did you grade it?

On Thursday during 4th period, my teacher called on me asking me one simple question.

"Ongoy, what did you grade it?"

Let me catch you up. We watched the inauguration of President Barrack Obama. He made us all put our heads down and close are eyes. And he asked us to raise our hand when he says allowed the grade we would give the speech. I didn't give Obama an A but I did raise my hand when he said B. Once A-F was called we were all allowed to raise our heads once again. He started asking the class if anyone would like to say what they graded his speech and why. A few people raised their hands and he called on them to answer.

I sat in silence while I listened to everyone talk. I don't care for Obama much so I didn't want to raise my hand like everyone else and "praise" him for everything he said. But my luck, he called on me and asked me.

So I said my opinion. "I gave it a B because I am sick of hearing him talk about being black. I get that he's black. THE WHOLE WORLD gets that he's black so why does he need to address it AGAIN? If his whole thing is "change" than why doesn't he change what he says in every speech. He talks about how equality is key and everyone is born equal so why does he have to bring up that his father wasn't treated equally like everyone else? I get it. Get on with the presidency."

My opinion I guess offended a lot of people and I was getting a lot of flack for it. First of all, I didn't feel good so I didn't even want to argue in the first place but of course everyone was basically calling me a racist because of what I said. Second of all, someone took it too far.

When I got home from school I decided to go on MySpace and check out the bulletins that were being posted because I was bored and didn't have much to do (Being sick didn't leave much to do.. Computer or sleep.. I chose computer). Well a girl posted a bulletin that said "For my Poli Sci per. 4 class.. The hw isn't due tomorrow is it?" and it was the whole inauguration speech. Word for WORD. She also put "notice the things that are bold." So I scrolled down to check out what she had to say. Of course the things that were bolded were the parts of his speech that he referred to his heritage being black.

Now this is a girl that I like. I like debating with her because we are very opinionated about very different things. We love to argue but we never take it too far. This was something that she took too far. I commented her bulletin telling her that the homework was due tomorrow and she messaged me. She said she felt guilty for posting that bulletin and she didn't want to offend me. I wasn't upset at all, just frustrated. I really thought that she took it too far. I am all for debating in class and even outside of class, but posting stuff on the internet about it is a little much.

It taught me one thing.. Agreeing to disagree can save a lot of things.. Time, a friendship, and most of all a lot of hate.

I am definitely going to try and keep my temper in that class, cause God knows.. I NEED IT.

Where were you?

University of Nevada, Reno.

That is what took up my whole entire day. I woke up at about 6:15 am (even though I set my alarm for 5:30.. Apparently I didn't wake up to it). Chelsea and her mom came and picked us (my mom and me) up around 6:40 am and no later than 7:00 am we were on the road.

I-80 East, all the way to Reno. It was raining the whole way up there and it was raning hard for some of it. We had Betty with us for the ride up there which was nice, so the car full of girls ACTUALLY DIDN'T GET LOST FOR ONCE. (For those of you that don't know, Betty is the GPS system that my dad got for us girls a year ago since we get lost all the time) We made it to UNR at around 8:50 and it was like BOOM BOOM BOOM.

We checked in as soon as we got there and were told to start the tour ALREADY. Lost story short, we got in groups of what majors we liked and head off on our journey. This is where Chelsea and I split since she is interested in Business and I.. well am not. I went with my mom in the "pre-med" group.

That was an adventure all in itself. The group was very talkative.. NOT. I felt like when I would even talk to my mom the whole group was like staring at me or something. It was almost as if everyone felt like they were too smart to ask questions. Now I get that to major in pre-med or what not you have to be pretty smart considering that it is a very hard thing to do... But do you really have to ACT smart all the time? It really got on my nerves that these people talked about how good they were in such classes and how it should be a piece of cake to get in to the med school.

They never said this to me exactly but when you are in a group of approx. 20 students and you are walking for-ev-er, you start to pick up people's conversations. I always heard people talking about how many AP classes they could squeeze in this semester and how next semester they had to add one more.. LIKE REALLY?? Is that really necessary?

Once the leader of the tour said that AP classes don't count towards this med school, it made me feel better about my decsions that I have made in high school but I still felt like a nobody with everyone talking about their GPA's around me. Am I really that stupid? Or am I just normal?

Once that tour was over, I felt like it was a lot easier to have fun on the other tours because it wasn't academics that were being talked about. It was more about college life. I AM VERY EXCITED about college life. The dorms, the friends, the food (mmmm ice cream), the experiences, etc. All things that I have been looking forward to for a really long time actually started becoming real in that small period of time.

We looked at a lot of the dorms and WOW. Each one was different in it's own way. One that was pretty snobby with it's own bathroom in the dorm (1200 a year.. EXTRA), the second that was a substance free hall, all guys, all girls, co-ed. Each one was different and each one was so much fun to look at and see what to expect at any college really.

I hate the cold. Everyone who knows me will know that and actually this college was great. I loved how it was set up, I loved how everyone was so nice, and I loved how everyone was so willing to help you with anything. It was almost like the whole campus was already their own awkward family in their own awkward way.

To put an end to this.. My day was very eventful. It was very exciting. And I am overall glad that I was able to go.



Even though I missed Josiah James :(

Do you?

I'm sitting on the couch of my livingroom watching Grey's Anatomy and I can't stop thinking about the one question that has been all over this episode.

"Do you believe in heaven?"

How can you believe in heaven when you can't see it? I have come to one conclusion: Faith. Faith is all that we have and it is all we need to actually have a life beyond the one we have now. But how do you believe that? How can you believe that there is a place after this world? And with that question there is only one answer. The word. Read it and you will see.

So to answer the question that has been all over this episode, I do believe in heaven and I am getting to the point where it is getting eaasier to realize it. It is getting even easier to believe it and talk to others about it. I want others to know that there is a God and that there is a heaven and a hell. I want people to know that you are able to choose which one you want to be in for eternity.

But how? How do you convince someone of that? And that is an answer that I do not have. Once I actually can convince someone (probably by accident) I will know. But that will probably take some time. I need to believe it for myself 100% before I can fully preach it. And for that, I will try my very hardest to believe what is right.

So, do you believe in heaven and hell?